Night keeps me awake like some creaky floor boards in my brain. I have figured out most answers. I cannot testify there are more answers to conquer. I can only testify to choices made to adjust to the madness. There is only insanity when we have no answers. There is chaos when life refuses to listen to reason. Wisdom was not my only responsibility. I spent too much time accepting advice from some lost soul. I spent too much time processing bad advice like a dripping faucet in my brain. The leak refuses to heal. I must be chosen to provide answers for somebody. I have this brain that keeps me awake at night. It never sleeps. It only dreams when it needs symbols to share with me.
The dark corners of my brain where light refuses to tread. I investigate these corners like I expect answers to be in the dark. I can look at a hidden corner like it carries a message for me. It only carries some black hole of knowledge for me. I wonder how knowledge came to tease me in the darkness. I do not fear to tread. Shadows have followed me all my life this way. We are delirious when it is no longer necessary to contemplate the big answers of life. We pass the same judgement to the young like flatulence on the wind. They shake the same tree of knowledge violently to release some concealed fruit of wisdom hidden in the leaves. We surrender to imitation. We surrender to the mundane. Listening to Dylan does not help
I look at my parents. They did not provide answers for me. They wanted answers from me. They saw my uniqueness as enlightenment. I was burning a recipe for success inside my brain. I see what others take for granted. I refused to believe the knowledge prepared for me. You cannot make life work when it is too broken to function. Knowledge is not building blocks to insight. We must reason to deliver what many have decided to abandon. A fortunate few have decided to bore a shaft of light into the darkness. They bring the tools, but not the knowledge how to use them. I bring the tools but not the knowledge how to explain them. Facts of life forged from god spark inside my brain. I can locate them, but not share them to make a difference. I have learned it may be possible to ask too many questions seeking the right answers. There is no broken path to knowledge.
Life shares no complicated answers to make us insane. We bring the darkness, but not the light. Fear likes the darkness. Fears follow us to explain the darkness. The shadows cloak us to share fears without a name. I have learned to shake off my fear to receive the answer. At times, answers come in pieces fitting a different puzzle. It feels like we have forgotten to bring what we need in life to succeed, but who succeeds without fear. We carry fear like pockets of wisdom with weak threads. They escape when we don’t need them. We are relieved when we cannot find the answers to help us. We attempt success to accomplish what has been done in the past.